A Wedding in the Addams Family
by Morticia'sGrandRomance
Summary: Wednesday is getting married. Her parents reflect. Aspects from the cartoons, movies and Broadway musical, but largely based on the 1960s TV show
1. Introduction: The Wedding

_Here's the introductory chapter of my first multi-chapter story. Please R&R and let me know what you think of it, and if I should continue or not._

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

The young girl smoothed out the sheer material of her veil and gave her mother a nervous look. The mother returned it with an encouraging smile. To an outsider, it may look at though they were attending a funeral- the girl in a black dress, with long sheer sleeves and matching veil, clutching a bouquet of black roses (much to the dismay of her mother, who was resisting the urge to tear the heads off those beautiful thorny stems), and the mother in an elegant, formfitting black dress that fell to the ground, spider-like tendrils circling her feet. But of course, to an insider, they were dressed for a wedding.

"Wednesday, you look beautiful," Morticia said with a happy sigh.

"Thank you, mother," Wednesday looked up, her large brown eyes clearly anxious with anticipation. "Mother? Were you this nervous when you married Father?"

Morticia paused before answering, lightly sucking her finger tip in thought, "I may have been. I was mostly nervous that my sister, Ophelia, was going to marry him."

"Oh yeah," Wednesday clearly remembered the story of her father's betrothal to her mother.

Speaking of the devil, with a soft knock on the door, in walked her father.

"Paloma, you look beautiful!" he exclaimed.

"That's what mother said," Wednesday replied, her way of accepting the compliment.

"Oh, Gomez, can you believe our little girl is getting married?" Morticia asked, taking her husband's hand.

Gomez snaked his other arm around his wife's waist, "It seems like only yesterday she was torturing her brother, and burning ants with a magnifying glass."

"Gomez," Morticia looked at him curiously. "That _was_ yesterday."

"So it was," Gomez smiled at his daughter. "Are you ready, Paloma? They're all waiting for you out there."

Wednesday took in a deep breath and then nodded. Morticia walked forward, lightly kissing her daughter on the forehead.

"I'll get on out there then," she said. "I hope you'll be as unhappy as we."

"Thank you, Mother," Wednesday replied.

Morticia swept elegantly through the doorway and out into the graveyard. A few moments later a harpsichord struck up, sending out the opening strains of a Funeral March. Gomez offered his arms to his daughter, which she took, and the two left the room, beginning their walk down the aisle, to meet Wednesday's intended.

Watching from her seat in the front row, Morticia felt a tear run down her cheek. Her little girl was growing up, and she could hardly believe it.


	2. Midnight Meals

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

Gomez, clad in a long nightshirt, took off his robe and hooked it over the back of the bedroom door. It had been a long day, he'd purchased 200 meters worth of train track and, with the help of Uncle Fester and little Pugsley, had laid it down all through the house. It had been an amazing wreck, the train ran all the way through the large manor, knocking over all sorts of bric-a-brac, and mama too! Finally it had gone soaring out the attic window, exploding nicely by the front porch. Mama and Morticia had cooked dinner over the flames it provided.

Morticia was standing out on their balcony, looking up at the moon. It was big and full and they could hear Fester howling at it somewhere in the distance. Gomez silently slipped behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling into her neck. She let out a small moan as his mustache tickled her neck.

"Dinner was lovely, cara mia," Gomez told her.

Morticia smiled softly at him, "You're welcome darling. Your train wreck provided the perfect oven."

"It was Pugsley's idea to have it fly out the window," Gomez replied proudly.

"He's really going places," Morticia remarked. "Very clever."

"Morticia," Gomez said tenderly. "Are you feeling alright? You've been acting very strangely all day."

"Have I, dear?"

He nodded, "Yes, well for starters, you forgot to make any lunch for Pugsley and I, we had to go hunting for it ourselves."

"I'm sorry, darling," Morticia's eyes widened as she realised she had forgotten to feed her toddler. "Did you find anything good?"

"Some toadstools out by the swamp," Gomez replied. "But little Pugsley had had his heart seat on that Walrus pie you'd promised him."

"I'll have to make him two for tomorrow, to make it up to him," she said absentmindedly.

"Come to bed," Gomez took her hand. "You look tired."

"Alright darling," Morticia replied. "I'll just stop in Pugsley's room and see that he's asleep first."

She made her way down the hall to the door with the little baby vultures on it, and gently eased it open. Her little boy was laying in his cage, gnawing at the bars that held him in. Morticia crossed the room and unlocked it, picking him up- huffing a little as she did so from the weight of the boy.

"Hello darling, I thought your father put you to bed an hour ago."

Pugsley nodded, "No sleep."

"Are you not tired, darling?"

Pugsley shook his head, "Hungry."

"It's a little late dear," Morticia told him.

"Hungry," he insisted.

"Alright darling," she lowered him to the floor and took his pudgy little hand.

Only just beginning to learn how to walk, he clutched tightly to his mother's hand, and then reached over his other hand and clutched the fabric of her nightdress. She walked very slowly, allowing the young boy to toddle alongside her, only occasionally tripping over the sheer fabric that fell over the nightwear. She picked him up again when they reached the stairs and carried him down, and the rest of the way to the kitchen, placing him on the counter top while she went over to the fridge, pulling out some left over yak and putting it in the oven.

"It won't be long darling," she told him, smoothing her hand over his hair.

"Tank Muzzer."

"You're welcome dear," Morticia placed her palms against the counter and, with a little jump, sat next to him.

Gomez, having gotten bored at waiting for his wife to return, and discovering neither mother nor child in the nursery, had come downstairs to the most predictable place for the pair of them at this hour, and stuck his head into the room.

"There's my lovely family," he beamed at them.

"Muzzer food," Pugsley pointed at the oven.

Morticia glanced over at the oven. The boy had an uncanny sense of knowing when food was ready. Allowing her husband to help her off the counter she made her way across the kitchen and took the meat out the oven, placing it on a plate. Gomez had put the boy into his chair at the table, and the food was given to him. His parents watched over him proudly and he grabbed it and tore at it with his teeth. It was only a matter of moments before he was covered in it, but he was clearly enjoying his meal. Gomez held his wife with one arm, placing a tender kiss on her soft, white cheek.

"He's a perfect little devil," he told her.

She glanced at him, smiling coyly, "I wonder how we'll cope with two of them."

"Two?" Gomez paused for a second and then his eyes widened. "Tish!"

Morticia nodded, "Yes, darling."

Gomez quickly pressed his lips against hers. From his place at the table the little boy piped up.

"Yick!"


	3. A Thorn By Any Name

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

Gomez watched his wife, who was sitting in her favourite chair knitting a tiny black bonnet. Their son Pugsley played at her feet, knotting the tendrils of her dress together. Morticia momentarily paused to place her hand on her rounded abdomen, with a gentle smile.

"Mother?" Pugsley, now almost two, looked up at her. "Okay?"

"Yes, dear," she replied. "I'm fine."

"Stomach hurt?"

"No, darling," she reached forward and took his hand, pulling him to his feet and towards her. "It's just your baby brother or sister. They were kicking me."

"On inside?" Pugsley tilted his head curiously at the woman.

Morticia nodded, taking the hand she still held and placing it on her stomach, just to the left of her navel, "Can you feel it?"

The boy giggled wickedly, "Did I kick you Mother?"

She nodded, "Much harder than this. I used to scream when you kicked me darling."

He laughed even harder, then looked towards his father, "I kicked mother from the inside!"

"I remember son," Gomez replied, raising his unlit cigar at the boy.

"I'm gonna tell Grandmama!" he shrieked, before half-toddling, half-running out of the room.

"Is it still kicking?" Gomez asked once the little boy had fled the room.

Morticia nodded, "This one's very gentle."

Gomez came over to her, "May I?"

"Of course, darling."

He placed his hand in the spot Pugsley had held his own. After a moment an almost unnoticeable tap nudged his hand.

"I'm sure this one will be a girl," Morticia said, placing her own slender hand on top of her husband's.

"Why's that, Tish?"

She gave a slight shrug, "I just feel like it is."

"Well, you were right about little Pugsley being a boy, so I'm sure you're right about this one too," he grinned at her. "Now, what are we going to name the little paloma?"

"I was thinking about Maloré," Morticia mused.

"Tish!"Gomez grabbed her arm. "That's French!"

"Ah, I can see that won't work..." Morticia chuckled slightly as her husband ran his lips along her arm. "What do you think of Lilith?"

"Lilith?"

Morticia nodded, "It means 'night'"

"I does have a certain ring to it," Gomez replied. "How do you feel about Abellona?"

Before she had a chance to answer they heard a loud wailing noise, followed by the cries of, "Mother! Father!"

"Pugsley!" Morticia's eyes widened, and she began struggling to get out of her chair.

Gomez helped her to her feet, and guided her towards the front door- the cry was coming from the front yard. He pushed open the door and looked out. Sitting at the edge of the garden by a little dug out grave- shovel still in hand -sat their wailing son. Gomez assisted Morticia down the stairs, and the pair hurried over to him. Morticia eased herself down to kneel down next to her son, and wrapped him in her arms.

"Hush now darling, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Lady scare me," he sobbed out.

"Lady?" Gomez sat cross legged next to his wife and son. "What lady?"

"Lady on the street," Pugsley replied between sobs.

Gomez looked out on to the street but saw no-one, he turned back to his son, "Now Pugsley, tell me exactly what happened."

"I's digging my grave," he pointed at the little hole in front of them. "And lady ask me what I was doing. I told her I getting ready for the baby, and she asked if I looking for it in cabb'ge pats, from the sork!"

"A stork in a cabbage patch!?" Morticia looked shocked. "Who would go spreading such lies to a child?"

"Pugsley, you know babies don't really come from a cabbage patch, don't you?" Gomez asked.

Pugsley nodded, "But what if lady was right?"

"She most certainly was not," Morticia replied firmly. "You know we told you where they come from."

He nodded, "Father put it in you after sex, and then it'll be borned and there'll be baby."

"That's right," Gomez nodded. "Well, almost anyway."

"So you see dear," Morticia let her son out of their embrace, picking up two sticks and twisting them together. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"You go ahead and keep getting ready for the baby," Gomez nodded.

Morticia passed Pugsley the sticks, now formed into a perfect cross, "There you go dear, have fun."

Gomez pulled Morticia to her feet and the pair started to walk back to the house.

"Mother?" Pugsley called after them.

They turned to face him. He was holding a penknife, ready to engrave the cross.

"Yes, darling?"

"When is baby born?"

"It should be here on Wednesday," she replied.

"Baby, Wednesday," Pugsley said to himself, as he began carving the words into his cross.

"Wednesday," the two parents spoke in unison, quickly turning to look at each other.

"It's perfect!" Gomez exclaimed. "Why didn't we think of it sooner?"

"Baby Wednesday," Morticia smiled, placing her hand on her rounded stomach.

"I can hardly wait," Gomez replied.

Morticia's eyes suddenly widened, "Oh darling, you won't have to!"

She grimaced momentarily, then turned to him with a big smile.

"Tish?" Gomez reached out for her.

"Querido, it's time."


	4. Wednesday's Child

_Author's note: Thank you all for the reviews :) To the Anon who commented about the "Monday's Child" poem, I know that that's where the character's name came from, and I was going to do that, but the words just sort of came out of Pugsley's mouth and I thought it worked well and was kind of sweet. I did plan to address the poem issue in this chapter though. Anyway, enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

In a dark bedroom a young woman with a perfect hourglass figure lay stretched across the large bed, blankets disheveled, a large plant laying next to her. The woman's eyes fluttered open as the plant cuddled up against her. She stroked it gently.

"Good morning, Cleopatra," she greeted.

The plant flapped about in return.

"Where's Gomez?"

Cleopatra turned and pointed out the door with her head.

"Thank you darling," Morticia placed a kiss on one of the plant's leaves, and slowly slipped out of bed.

She glided down the hall, peeking through each open door until she came to the one with the octopuses painted on it. The door was ajar, revealing a robed man, knelt next to a small crib. He was whispering to the baby inside.

"You mustn't ever tell you're brother this, but you're absolutely perfect. When he was born he was handsome of course, how could he not be with that lovely drooping chin? But you, my little Paloma, you were something else. Not a wrinkle on you, perfectly smooth skin. Like porcelain. Like your mother."

Morticia smiled, she could already tell that her husband was going to absolutely spoil that little infant, still only days old. She pushed the door open, causing it to creak, and Gomez to turn around.

"Good morning, Querida," he said. "I didn't know you were up."

"I woke up and you were gone," she replied. "It was strange. That's never happened before."

"She was crying," Gomez gestured to the small child. "I didn't want to wake you."

Morticia walked over and picked up the child from her crib, gently rocking her.

"Little Wednesday," Morticia ran a slender finger gently across the girl's cheek. "So perfect."

Gomez stood up, planting a kiss on forehead's of both mother and child, "She takes after you."

They heard a soft thumping, and both turned to face the door. There stood their plump, pajama clad toddler, his spiked hair a mess, and the left side of his face caked in dried saliva.

"Hungry Mother," he told her.

Morticia passed her baby to her husband and reached forward, taking Pugsley's hand in her own.

"Gomez, take Wednesday down to the kitchen, I'll tidy Pugsley up a little first."

Morticia walked her son to his bedroom and had him climb up onto the bed while she rifled through his closet, finding a nice shirt and trousers for him to wear. She finally selected a striped top and black trousers. She crossed the room and unbuttoned his pajamas, slipping him out of them. She let out a little gasp when she saw his pale arm. There was a semi-circular red mark on it.

"Pugsley, what happened?"

"Wednesday," he replied.

"She's only four days old, Pugsley," Morticia's brow furrowed into a rare frown. "How did she do that?"

"She bit me."

"She doesn't have teeth."

"Didn't use teeth," he curled his lips over his own teeth, taking his mother's hand and clamping down on it.

Morticia looked down at her hand, a small semi-circular red mark was already forming, "Oh."

She paused for a moment and she pulled out her handkerchief and wiped her son's face clean, "Dear, how did your arm get close enough to the baby for her to do that?"

"I was giving her a stick of dynamite," he answered matter-of-factly.

She nodded, then took his hand, "Come on darling, let's go see what Grandmama has prepared for breakfast."

Pugsley almost pulled her over in his eager attempt to race downstairs. What they found in the kitchen was pandemonium. Mama and Lurch were madly trying to catch something that had escaped from the pot on the stove, with Thing trying to grab it everytime it came close enough to him, and Fester and Gomez were rather unsuccessfully trying to stop Wednesday from screaming. Pugsley grinned broadly and joined in the chase after their breakfast. Morticia stood in the doorway for a moment, and then quietly asked,

"What's going on?"

Everything stopped.

Gomez looked at her, "Wednesday took the top off the pot on the stove and let breakfast escape, and then she started screaming when everyone started running about."

Morticia took a deep breath, then turned to the creature that stood near the refrigerator with it's head bowed in shame, "Will you please go back in the pot?"

It slunk (slank?) back towards the stove, taking the pot lid between it's teeth and slipping backwards in, covering to pot on it's way.

"Thank you," Morticia called to the pot. "How long until it's ready, mama?"

"About five minutes now," Mama replied, peeking inside the pot to check on the creature.

"Alright," Morticia made her way to the kitchen table, taking the bottle of cyanide and yak's milk from Gomez and passing it to Wednesday. "Now we can settle down to a nice quiet breakfast. And Wednesday, you must promise not to interfere with Grandmama's cooking until you're older."

The baby gurgled in reply.

* * *

After a harrowing day spent trying to stop their two young children from killing each other, and trying to stop Fester from encouraging it, the tired parents lay in each others arms on their bed. Gomez took a puff of his cigar, blowing out smoke rings. Morticia reached forward and batted at them with her hand, smiling a little.

"It's nice that Pugsley and Wednesday seem to be getting along already, isn't it darling," she asked, as she attempted to slip her arm through a smoke ring like a bracelet.

"Oh yes, Cara Mia," Gomez replied.

"Ils sont merveilleux," Morticia remarked.

"Tish, that's French!" Gomez tossed aside his cigar and began kissing her hand.

She turned and took his face in her hands, tenderly kissing him. Then a very loud cry came from down the hall.

Gomez groaned, pulling away from his beloved as she stood up and floated towards the door.

"Now Gomez," she smiled at him. "Don't be bitter. After all, Wednesday's child is full of woe. And how wonderful that ours is living up to her name."

"She's perfect," Gomez replied. "But darling, don't be too long at getting her settled. I'll be waiting."

"Don't worry Bubela," Morticia reached for her robe and opened their bedroom door. "I won't be."

The crying stopped and Morticia cocked her head, listening carefully. She silently hung up her robe again and returned to the bed. Just as she was about to slip back into her husband's arms the wailing began again. Gomez let out another loud moan as Morticia turned on the spot and slipped out of the room.

"Wednesday's child..." he mumbled to himself, reaching to his bedside table and lighting another cigar, settling down to wait for his beloved's return.


	5. Spider Steps

_Author's Note: This is really just a fluff type chapter because I wanted to right something. By the way, if anyone has any suggestion that they want to see, I'm happy to take them on :)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

It was a hot summery day, and Gomez had taken Pugsley out to explore the caves in a neighbouring town to avoid the heat, while Morticia stayed behind with little Wednesday, who was now almost a year old. The pair were just arriving home, their clothes still damp and clingy from their spelunking adventure. Gomez pushed open the door and they stepped inside.

"Welcome home, darlings," Morticia greeted.

She was sat on the floor with Wednesday, holding her baby's tiny hands, allowing the girl to stand up. Pugsley ran over and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek.

"Mother, we had the best time!" he shouted, the words pouring out of him almost faster than she could keep up. "Father went down into the cave first and he slipped on some rocks, and so when I went I went bottom first and slipped all the way down, but father caught me before I landed on one of those pointy pieces, an then we went sploring and it was all wet and drippy, and father said it reminded him of your honeymoon cave and then he got all weird and sad because you weren't there and then we found this big bunch of spiders, but father said we couldn't take them all because we had to leave some for anyone else who might come, so we only got one. Look!"

He held out a box to his bemused mother. She gently lowered Wednesday to the floor, then took the box out of her son's hands and raised the lid to peek inside.

"He's a lovely spider, Pugsley," she handed it back, and then took Wednesday's hands again as the child was starting to whimper at having to sit down.

"Father says it's a girl spider."

"Ah, well your father does know about these things," Morticia replied.

Gomez, who had been hanging up their coats, came over and sat on the floor cross-legged, next to his wife, giving her a tender kiss, before turning his attention to the little girl.

"Have you two been having fun here without the men?"

"Oh yes," Morticia replied. "Look at her, she's started standing."

Wednesday started to struggle a little, then slipped her hands, one after the other, out of her mother's and held her balance for a moment before she fell down.

"Magnifique darling!" Morticia exclaimed, hugging her daughter as Pugsley and Gomez applauded.

Gomez suddenly stopped applauding and began kissing his wife's hand. Wednesday, with a determined look on her face, reached up, hooking her hands over her mother's arm and pulling herself to her feet. Her parents froze as they watched the little girl who then let go, and shifted her feet around, finding her balance.

"Good girl, Wednesday!" Gomez encouraged.

The wolf's head clock on the wall snarled at the family.

"Five o'clock," Pugsley announced proudly.

They'd taught the child to tell the time earlier that week, and he'd retained the information quite well. Morticia stood up, careful not to knock Wednesday over in the process.

"I'd better go and help Mama with dinner."

"I'll stay here with these two," Gomez replied, looking at his two children.

"Thank you dear."

Morticia started to leave the room, but swiftly stopped when she heard laughter behind her. She turned to look. Wednesday had been attempting to toddle after her mother. Morticia let out a small, quiet chuckle of her own, and walked back to her daughter.

"Wednesday darling, it's wonderful that you're walking but you know you're not allowed in the kitchen while food is being prepared."

This was a rule they'd put in place after the third time she'd let a meal escape by somehow removing the lid of a pot.

Wednesday started to whimper. Pugsley ran forward and sat in front of his sister, holding out the little box.

"Here Wednesday, you can have this if you stay here with me and father."

Wednesday tilted her head curiously at the offering. Pugsley lifted the lid and a spider crawled out of it, spinning a web, it glided in the air, landing on Wednesday's shoulder. She looked at it with glee.

"That's a lovely gift, Pugsley," Morticia gave him a kiss on the forehead. "What are you going to name your spider, dear?"

Wednesday, who rarely spoke- of course not uncommon at her very young age, grinned at the spider and replied, "Hom-ah!"

"Homer," Gomez pointed his cigar at the girl. "Now that's a name a spider could really get used to."

"Enjoy your spider, dear," Morticia turned to leave the room. "Dinner will be ready soon, I'm trying a new recipe. "Filet de Salamandre."


	6. Birthday Party (PI) Bedtime

_Author's Note: Thanks for the review, and BebeLover- yes you're exactly right :P  
_

_This is a two part chapter- mainly because I got distracted while writing, but part two won't take long to post (Though I may make you wait just a little bit so I know you're all filled with anticipation for the next chapter)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

Wednesday tugged on her mother's dress, "Mother?"

Morticia looked away from her husband and smiled at the small child, "Yes, Wednesday dear?"

"Mother, when are Granny Frump and Aunt Ophelia coming?"

"In Ophelia's letter she said they'd be here tomorrow, in time for your party," Morticia answered, leaning down to scoop the small child into her arms. "Are you excited darling?"

Wednesday nodded, "Yes mother, I'm going to be four, you know."

"Oh yes, I know," Morticia gave her a kiss. "Now, it's time for you to get to bed."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes darling, you don't want to be too tired when Granny Frump and Aunt Ophelia arrive, do you?"

Wednesday shook her head, "But I won't be, I'll be too excited to be tired."

Morticia started up the stairs, "Now darling, it's already almost midnight, and you know the rule."

Wednesday pouted.

Gomez leaned over the railing of the stairs and called down, "Pugsley, time to get ready for bed!"

Pugsley came bounded up the stairs, unlike his little sister he loved going to bed- he was plagued with nightly nightmares.

"I can get ready by myself," he announced to his parents.

Morticia looked a little hurt as she glanced at her husband. Gomez shrugged a little.

"Alright darling," she attempted a smile. "I'll be in once I've put Wednesday to bed to say good night."

Pugsley ran off ahead. Morticia and Gomez continued to Wednesday's room.

"Mommy?" Wednesday looked at her mother. "Are you excited about my birthday?"

"Of course I am darling," Morticia replied, her voice brightening as she put her daughter down on the bed.

"Are you excited father?"

Gomez nodded as he opened one of her drawers, pulling out a little blue nightgown, "I can hardly wait."

Wednesday beamed, raising her arms as Morticia pulled the girl's dress over her head.

"What are you getting me?" she asked.

"I can't tell you that!" Gomez cried out dramatically, passing the nightgown to his wife. "I'd rather tear out my eyes than spoil the surprise!"

Wednesday giggled at his show.

"There you are darling," Morticia pulled back the covers on the bed.

The girl scrambled in.

"Would you like a bedtime story, darling?" Morticia asked.

Wednesday nodded, "Yes, can father read me something by Mr Poe? He does it so funny."

"Of course darling," Morticia gave her a kiss. "I'll go and put your brother to bed, good night darling."

"Good night, Mother," Wednesday replied, before turning her attention to her father, who sat poised at the foot of the bed, book in hand.

"TRUE! -nervous -very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad?" he began, eyes opened wide.

Morticia smiled at the scene as she left the room and headed for her son's bedroom. She rapt her knuckles gently on the closed door.

"Pugsley darling, may I come in?"

"Yes, mother!" he called back. "I need a hand!"

She pushed open the door, and had to surpress a laugh as she saw her son tangled in his pajama top, his head somehow poking out one of the arm holes. She drifted over to him and pulled the top off, rearranged it, and had him dressed for bed in a matter of seconds.

"Thank you mother," Pugsley's cheeks were slightly flushed from his efforts.

"Why didn't you call for help sooner?" Morticia asked as she tucked the boy into his bed, pushing the octopus tank close to he could pet it goodnight.

Pugsley looked down, "Uncle Fester said that you baby me too much. He said I'll never be a man unless I learn to do things myself."

Morticia huffed, "That's ridiculous."

"That's what he said."

Morticia smoothed down the boy's hair, "Now darling, you listen to your mother. Doing things yourself doesn't make you a man, a man is someone who isn't afraid to ask for help when he needs it. Like you just did when I was at the door."

"You mean I am a man?"

She nodded, "Yes, darling. And when you're grown you're going to be as wonderful a man as your father is."

"I hope so," Pugsley grinned a toothy grin at his mother. "Thank you mother."

"Would you like me to read you a story?" she asked.

Pugsley shook his head, "No, tell me one of yours."

"Alright darling," Morticia thought for a moment, and then began. "Once upon a time, in a dark and dreary land, there lived a little boy named Pugsley..."

* * *

Morticia lay with her head on her husband's chest. His hand lay across her rib cage, running gentle circles with his thumb.

"Darling, are you still awake?" he asked.

"Yes dear."

"You seemed distracted tonight," he told her. "I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to worry about me dear," she replied. "I just can't stop thinking about what Pugsley told me tonight. He said Fester told him we baby him too much, and that he wasn't a man."

"That's preposterous!" Gomez shouted.

"Shush darling," Morticia rolled over, placing her hands over his mouth. "The children are sleeping."

"Sorry Cara," Gomez responded. "I wonder why Fester would tell the boy that."

Morticia shook her head, "He does have some funny ideas."

"I'll have a word with him tomorrow morning," Gomez told her. "And get him to amend his mistake."

"Thank you darling," Morticia replied, giving him a gentle kiss. "We should get some sleep now."

"Good night darling."

"Good night Bubbeleh," Morticia replied.

"Tish! You know what that word does to me!" Gomez cried.

Morticia allowed him to kiss her up and down, knowing neither of them would get any sleep just yet.


	7. Birthday Party (PII) Party

_Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, and the correction- I'm not sure why I made that mistake, I guess writing fanfic at 2am isn't the best thing in the world  
_

_Anyway, here's part two  
_

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

Gomez and Morticia were awoken early the following morning, by their little birthday girl, clambering up onto their bed and laying between them. They looked at her as she stared directly at the ceiling and then, without breaking her facial monotone, announced;

"I am four years old."

Morticia pressed her lips tightly together to refrain from laughing, then reached over and gave the girl a kiss, "Happy birthday, my darling."

"Thank you mother," Wednesday replied.

"Happy birthday, Paloma," Gomez grinned at the girl.

"Thank you father," Wednesday stood up as she spoke, taking a wide step across her mother and jumping back down to the floor. "I'm going to go and tell Pugsley the good news, and then Grandmama, and then Uncle Fester, then I think I'll tell Thing, and then Lurch. No I'd better tell Lurch first and then tell Thing, because he gets upset if he..."

Her voice faded away as she disappeared down the hall.

Morticia let out a kindly laugh, "Darling, wasn't that the sweetest thing?"

"It's certainly a nice way to wake up," Gomez took a lock of his wife's hair and kissed it. "Good morning Cara Mia."

Morticia stroked his face, "Good morning."

* * *

Fester and Pugsley were helping Wednesday set up her new maze that Pugsley had designed for her spiders, when Gomez approached.

"Fester, I'd like a word with you old man."

Fester looked up, he could tell by Gomez's tone that he was in trouble for something, "Er, I'd rather stay here and play with the children."

"Uncle Fester," Morticia's warning voice came from the kitchen.

Fester stood up, handing the pieces of the maze he held to Wednesday, and followed Gomez to the kitchen.

"Now, Fester, what's this you've been telling Pugsley?" Gomez asked.

"That he should have included a spring trap in the maze?"

Morticia raised an eyebrow at him, and he shrunk backwards.

"How about what you told him about not being a man?" Gomez prompted.

"Oh, that?" Fester smiled again. "I told him you baby him a lot."

"We do not baby our boy," Morticia told him as she started searching through the cupboard.

"Really?" Fester asked. "How about when tied his shoelaces for him yesterday, Gomez?"

"He wasn't getting the nooses right on the ends," Gomez shrugged.

"And how's he ever going to learn if you don't let him work it out by himself?" Fester wanted to know. "And Morticia, what about you telling him the correct dosage of peroxide to use in his experiments last night?"

Morticia turned back towards Fester, "He wasn't putting in enough. It wouldn't have had the nice bang he likes and then he would have been so disappointed."

"But that's how children _learn_," Fester retorted.

"Maybe we do baby him a little," Gomez conceded. "But you shouldn't have told him he wasn't a man, Uncle Fester. That just wasn't right."

Morticia nodded her agreement as she started piling food onto her serving tray, "Yes, now Uncle Fester, you make sure you tell him he was wrong and that he isn't a baby, before he develops some kind of complex."

"Fine," Fester turned and scurried out of the room.

Gomez walked over and took the top scorpion-cookie from Morticia's tray, "You know, Fester did have a few good points. We should let the children learn a little more through their own endeavors."

"But we do darling," Morticia replied. "Remember the time Wednesday burned her eyebrows off playing with cauldron on the wrong heat setting, or when Pugsley broke his arm the time he thought he could fly? That's how we let our children learn."

"You're right, Tish," Gomez finished off his biscuit and allowed Morticia to dab his mouth with a napkin. "That's responsible parenting."

Just then a loud foghorn went off throughout the house.

"Mother and Ophelia are here," Morticia smiled up at Gomez.

* * *

Lurch opened the door and lead the guests to the main room, announcing their arrival;

"Mrs Frump and Miss Ophelia."

"Granny Frump! Aunt Ophelia!" Wednesday and Pugsley jumped up, hugging their relatives.

"Happy birthday Wednesday!" Granny Frump shouted. "Ophelia, give her her present."

Ophelia absentmindedly passed Wednesday a large box, then asked, "Where is my sister?"

"Ophelia!" Morticia greeted as she and Gomez entered the room hand in hand. "Mother! It's so lovely to see you."

She gave her mother a kiss on the cheek.

"Morticia, you're too skinny," Granny Frump brushed past. "Gomez, you're not looking after her right."

Gomez shrugged, looking towards his wife who gave him a little smile. Her mother could be a little too much sometimes.

"Granny Frump?" Wednesday walked over, struggling to hold the box, which was larger than she. "May I open my present now?"

"Of course you can," Granny Frump replied with a smile.

Ophelia rushed over and kneeled beside Wednesday and the package, "You must open it quickly, use this."

She passed the girl a small knife. Wednesday took it and used it to cut through the ribbon tying the box shut, then pulled off the lid. In a flurry of wings a large mass of bats flew out of the box, spreading frantically throughout the house.

"Neat!" Pugsley shouted.

"A colony of bats," Morticia smiled. "How thoughtful."

"It was my idea," Granny Frump told her. "But Ophelia caught them all."

"Bats like daisies," Ophelia stood up. "I stood in the garden, and they came one by one. Landed on my head."

"Very clever," Gomez noted.

Ophelia brightened, "Ah Gomez, how terrible we never worked out. Imagine, this could be our child's fourth birthday."

"I dread to think..."

"Still," Ophelia smiled at her sister. "He's done wonders for you."

"Thank you darling," Morticia replied. "Oh, by the way Ophelia, the basement's been leaking."

Ophelia broke into a skip, heading towards the basement.

Granny Frump laughed, "She always has loved water that one."

"Thank you for my bats, Granny," Wednesday came over.

Granny Frump lifted the girl up, resting her on her hip, "There's forty seven of them. Ophelia's quite a good bat hunter."

"Forty seven?" Morticia placed a pondering finger on her lip. "The last time we went bat hunting we only caught thirteen. I wonder if they react the same way to henbane as they do to daisies..."


	8. Teeth, Trains and Trapdoors

_Author's Note: Thanks BroadwayWednesday for the review on the last chapter :)  
_

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

"Mother! Mother!" Wednesday ran inside the house after school, shouting frantically.

"What is it Wednesday, dear?" Morticia asked, wrapping her arms around the girl.

"Pugsley says I'm going to diiiiiee!" she hollered.

Pugsley met the eagle eye from his mother and shrugged, "She _is_."

"And why exactly is she going to die?" Morticia asked sharply.

"Because that's what happened to Great Uncle Fludge."

"Great Uncle Fludge?" Morticia raised an eyebrow at her son.

Pugsley nodded earnestly, "Yeah, remember? All his teeth fell out, and then his hair and his fingernails, and then everything else. And Wednesday's tooth is gonna fall out."

Morticia let out a small chuckle, "Pugsley, Fludge died because he drank too much chocolate milk, not because his teeth started falling out. Everybody loses their teeth, they just grow back."

"Oh," Pugsley looked around the room. "Where's father?"

It wasn't often he saw his mother without his father by her side.

"In the library with his trains," Morticia replied, as she kneeled in front of Wednesday. "Darling, which tooth is loose?"

Wednesday opened her mouth wide, wobbling one of her front teeth with her finger.

"Oh, and it's in such a nice location, you'll have a lovely gap between your teeth soon."

"I will?" Wednesday smiled at that.

Morticia nodded.

"Can we make it come out right now?"

Morticia held a finger to her mouth as she thought, "We could try and pull it out. I used to tie a piece of string around my teeth and slam a-"

She was cut off by a shout from the library.

"We'll talk later, darling," Morticia patted Wednesday on the head as she drifted quickly towards the sound.

* * *

Pugsley was leaning against the wall, looking a little stunned, while Gomez kneeled by him when Morticia arrived in the library.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Pugsley got hit by one of the trains as it flung off the tracks," Gomez explained.

"Are you alright darling?" Morticia asked, helping her son to his feet.

Pugsley nodded.

"Why didn't you duck?" Gomez wanted to know.

"I was thinking about something mother said," Pugsley replied, rubbing the back of his head where he'd hit the wall.

"Something I said?" Morticia looked confused.

The boy nodded, "You said that everybody loses their teeth. Only I don't remember ever losing my teeth."

Gomez let out a laugh, "Of course not son, you were so young!"

"I was?"

Morticia nodded, "You'd barely grown your first set in. Such a lovely set too- you had three pairs of canines."

"Uncle Fester had been teaching you how to use your first dynamite stick and you started sucking on it when Fester turned his back. Blew your teeth clean out!"

"And part of your tongue," Morticia added. "You had the most lovely forked tongue until it healed."

"Oh," Pugsley beamed. "I wish I still had a forked tongue. That'd be swell!"

Pugsley ran off to go and tell his new story to his sister. Gomez took the opportunity to take his wife into his arms.

"Ah cara, I remember that day so well," he told her. "But most of all, I remember the night."

"The night, dear?" Morticia asked, letting her husband kiss her before answering.

"As a reward, Mama and Fester took Pugsley to the fishing harbour to try and spot a sea monster. Lurch and Thing tagged along. It was the first time since Pugsley was born that we had the house to ourselves."

Morticia's eyes sparkled at the though, "Oh yes, I remember."

"In fact," Gomez said thoughtfully. "I think that was the last time we had the house completely to ourselves. Wednesday was born nine months later."

Morticia smiled, "We should find an excuse to get everyone out of the house again. That was a fun night, wasn't it?"

Gomez was about to answer when a loud bang came from upstairs, followed by an annoyed cry from one of the children. Gomez released his wife from his arms, and the pair headed upstairs.

* * *

Up in the attic, Wednesday sat in a chair in front of the trap door, holding her hand to her mouth as blood dripped out of it. Pugsley was crawling around on the floor, obviously in search of something. The trapdoor entrance opened, revealing Gomez's head.

"What's happened up here children?"

Wednesday tried to answer, but only managed to spray her father with blood. Gomez scrambled up through the trapdoor and pressed his handkerchief into his daughter's mouth. Morticia was now in the attack too.

"Pugsley, what happened?"

"Wednesday's tooth came out," he replied. "She'd tied her tooth to the trapdoor. When I came up to tell her my story I yanked the string and pulled it out. Only, the tooth went flying away somewhere."

Gomez started searching the floor with Pugsley, while Morticia tended to Wednesday's bleeding gum.

"Here it is!" Pugsley triumphantly held up a tiny object in the air.

Gomez shook his head when he examined, "No, that's one of Cousin Itt's."

The search resumed. Eventually it was Morticia who spotted it, laying right at Wednesday's feet, and handed it to the girl.

"There you are darling," she said. "We can put it on a chain for you if you like. Just be careful not to put it under your pillow, or a fairy might come- and you know how Homer hates fairies."

"Thank you mother."

"I have an idea," Gomez announced, his eyes wide with excitement. "Children, as a reward, why don't we see if Grandmama and Uncle Fester want to take you out to find a sea monster in the harbour?"

Wednesday and Pugsley nodded excitedly.

"Can Thing come?" Pugsley asked. "He's handy for holding the fishing line."

"Of course, and we'll get Lurch to drive you."

"Are you going to come?" Wednesday asked.

"Oh no," Morticia shook her head. "This is a special treat. Your father and I will stay at home and make sure everything is ready for your return- and make sure Aristotle doesn't mind sharing his tank if you manage to catch the sea monster."

"Good idea!" Pugsley replied enthusiastically. "Come on Wednesday, let's go ask Grandmama!"

The children now out of site, Morticia and Gomez turned to share a smile.

"Think it was a good idea to send them away?" Gomez asked.

"An excellent idea," Morticia replied. "Bubbeleh."


	9. The Wheels on the Bus

_Author's Note: Thanks BroadwayWednesday again for the review on the last chapter :) You should all check out her fics, they're good!  
_

_This chapter just kept getting longer and longer. I almost considered making it a one shot, but it serves somewhat of a purpose towards the rest of this story._

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, the Addams Family in any of it's forms_

* * *

Wednesday stalked into the kitchen, head hung low, and thrust a piece of paper at her mother sullenly.

"What's this dear?" Morticia asked.

Wednesday raised her head, her large brown eyes brimming with tears, "We're going on an excursion to the zoo mother."

"An excursion?" Morticia looked at the paper. "Oh, I see, it's a permission form."

"And mother, they want you to come too," Wednesday added.

"To the zoo?" Morticia hesitated. "Why do they want me?"

"Because you and Jimmy's mother are the only mothers who haven't come and volunteered with our class," Wednesday replied.

"Alright darling, I'll come. Do you have a pen?"

Wednesday reached into her rucksack that was still slung over her shoulder and pulled out a pen, passing it to her mother. Morticia took the pen and, in swirling calligraphy, signed her name and checked the box indicating that she too would be in attendance. She handed the form back to Wednesday and the ink, not quite dry yet, began to drip down the page, mimicking blood very nicely.

"Thank you mother," Wednesday gave a little smile.

"You're welcome darling," Morticia looked around for a moment. "Where's your brother? Did he come home from school with you?"

Wednesday shook her head, "I think he said he was meeting Uncle Fester at the quarry. They're going to blow a hole in the side of it."

"That sounds like fun, why didn't you join them?"

Wednesday shrugged, "They didn't ask me to?"

"They didn't?" Morticia frowned. "I wonder why not."

"Doesn't matter," Wednesday replied. "I wouldn't have gone. I promised Homer I'd put some more dust in the closet for her to play in."

"Oh, well, run along then darling. There's no need to keep a spider waiting."

Wednesday ran out the room with a quick wave goodbye. Morticia stood up for her chair, gently brushing away the excess powder from her baking and heading for the library where she knew her husband was playing with his trains.

* * *

Morticia paused momentarily in the door to the library to watch her husband.

Gomez was wearing his conductor's hat, a cigar hanging aslant from his mouth. Thing was operating the controls, Gomez firing a set of small pistols at the trains, narrowly missing with each shot. Thing frantically accelerated the trains.

"Faster Thing, faster!" Gomez urged.

He fired once again at one of the trains. The bullet ricocheted off the metal of the tracks towards the door. Morticia only just managed to twist her petite frame out of the way of the oncoming lead.

"Tish!" Gomez cried on seeing his wife, immediately rushing to her. "Did I hit you?"

She shook her head daintily, "Alas, no, my love."

He shrugged, then led her towards the still speeding trains.

"Would you like to push the plunger Cara?" he offered.

"Oh no, Gomez, I know how much you love it," her eyes sparkled. "Besides, it's more fun for me to watch."

Gomez nodded, "Alright, Thing, send 'em rolling!"

Thing signaled 'okay', and then sped the trains up. Just as they were rumbling over the bridge Gomez set off the TNT he had loaded beneath. The trains went flying around the room. The couple ducked as the engine soared where their heads had previously been.

"Oh, darling, that was wonderful," Morticia sighed, elated.

"Yes!" Gomez agreed ecstatically, turning to his helper. "Thank you Thing."

Thing gave Gomez a thumbs up sign before disappearing into his box. Gomez turned back towards his wife, still delighted with his magnificent wreck.

"Querida," he smiled at her, taking her in him arms.

He began to kiss her, but stopped when he sensed something wasn't quite right, "Cara, are you alright?"

Morticia chewed her lower lip momentarily before she shook her head.

"What's wrong, Tish?"

He lead her to a nearby bench seat.

"I'm so worried Gomez," she confided. "Wednesday and Pugsley seem to be drifting apart lately, and she has to go to the zoo tomorrow. On top of that _so do I_."

"Cara Mia," Gomez stoked her hair lovingly. "Pugsley is almost fourteen, we can't expect him to want to spend all his time with his ten year old sister. And besides, we know how terribly other children get on with their siblings, at least our two little devils are still accomplices when it counts."

Morticia smiled and gave her husband a small peck on the cheek, "Thank you darling, you're so right."

"As for the zoo, you two will have to just be brave and resilient," Gomez leaned in closer to his love. "I know you're both strong, so you'll just have to show it while you're there."

Morticia nodded, "I'm glad we talked."

"Me too," Gomez said breathlessly.

There was barely a millimeter between the two of them now, but Morticia held back for a moment, teasing her husband with her lips so close.

"Tish..."

She relented.

* * *

Morticia stood calmly at the back of the fifth grade classroom, arms folded neatly across her chest, while her daughter went to inform the teacher of their arrival.

"Mother, this is Mrs White. Mrs White, this is my mother, Morticia Addams," Wednesday introduced them.

"Please to meet you Mrs Addams," Mrs White greeted with a chipper smile.

"Likewise," Morticia gave the woman a nod.

"Thank you for agreeing to chaperone for us today," Mrs White's smile grew. "Wednesday's always telling us how wonderful you are."

"Is she?"

"She's always talking about your cooking, and how you sew her clothes for her, and fix her hair," Mrs White grinned. "You sound like a wonderful mother."

"Thank you," Morticia offered the woman a small smile in return, but really was worried that Mrs White's teeth may fall out if she could possibly pull her lips back any further from them.

"We'll be getting on the bus as soon as the last of the children arrive," Mrs White informed her. "I'll sit up the front, and you can sit down at the back. I'll have Mrs Reeves sit in the middle."

Morticia nodded, then turned her attention to Wednesday who was tugging on the material hanging from her sleeves.

"Mother, Maria wanted me to ask if you're a witch. I answered her already, but she wanted me to check with you. She didn't believe me."

Morticia looked over at the small blonde haired child Wednesday had pointed out. She twitched her mouth curiously at the little girl, who quickly looked away.

"Alright!" Mrs White clapped her hands together. "We're all here now, it's time to leave. But first I'd like to introduce you Wednesday's mother, Mrs Addams, and Jimmy's mother, Mrs Reeves."

The children simply stared at Morticia, who offered them a smile. They blinked in return.

"Okay, everybody line up to get on the bus," Mrs White directed the children, single file, out of the classroom and onto the bus.

Morticia sat on the backseat, accompanied by three rowdy boys who were wrestling each other before they even boarded the bus. Wednesday sat on the seat just in front of her mother.

Wednesday could hear the boys chatting with her mother but chose to ignore them. She was angry because she'd wanted to sit next to her mother, but the boys had gotten there first. She started plotting her revenge. But first she needed something.

She climbed off her seat and wandered towards Mrs Reeves, tapping the woman on the shoulder.

"Mrs Reeves?" Wednesday cleared her throat.

The woman turned, "Yes?"

"I'm not feeling very well," Wednesday clutched her stomach and let out a little fake moan. "May I sit with you?"

Mrs Reeves shifted over in her seat, allowing the small girl to climb up. Wednesday peeked over the back of the chair after a few minutes to make sure her plan was working. Sure enough, Morticia was looking her way, a hurt expression on her face. There was only one phase left of Wednesday's plan. She concentrated hard on completing it, biting down hard on her tongue until tears welled in her eyes. She patted the shoulder of Mrs Reeves, gaining the woman's attention.

"Are you alright darling?"

Wednesday pouted and shook her head, letting the tears run down her cheeks, "No. I want my mother."

"We'll call her to come and get you when we get to the zoo if you really don't feel that well," Mrs Reeves suggested.

Wednesday shook her head again, wiping at the tears with her sleeve, "But my mother's just at the back of the bus."

"Oh, your mom is Mrs Addams! Why didn't you go to her when you felt sick then?" Mrs Reeves asked.

"She's sitting with the boys," Wednesday sobbed. "I didn't want to be sick in front of them."

"I understand," Mrs Reeves stood up. "How about I switch places with your mom then?"

The girl nodded. She smiled smugly to herself, wiping away the last of the tears as Mrs Reeves went to the back of the bus.

"Mrs Addams?"

Morticia looked up from her conversation with the boys, "Yes?"

"Your daughter's not feeling very well, she wants you to sit with her."

"Wednesday's not well?" Morticia looked concerned as she stood up so quickly she knocked one of the boys off his seat.

"Do you have to leave?" the biggest of the boys asked as Morticia slid into the aisle. "You were telling us such cool stories."

"Those weren't just stories," Morticia replied vaguely as she made her way to Wednesday.

She sat down in her new seat next to her small daughter, who offered her a smile.

"Are you feeling alright, Wednesday?" Morticia asked.

Wednesday nodded, "Yes, I just wanted to sit next to you. You were sitting with the boys though, so I tricked the other lady into switching seats with you."

Morticia raised an eyebrow, "That was very devious of you Wednesday."

The girl shrugged, "I just didn't want to be alone."

Morticia gave her daughter a small kiss on her forehead, "You know darling, I felt very hurt when you moved away to sit with that woman."

"I'm sorry," Wednesday apologised. "But I felt hurt when you sat with those boys."

"Touché," Morticia nodded.

It was strange for Wednesday to hear her mother speak French without her father leaping into view. She let out an uncomfortable laugh at the absurdity of it.

* * *

Morticia and Wednesday looked forlornly at the caged animals as they wandered through the zoo with the rest of the class. The pair were huddled beneath Morticia's black parasol to hide from the sun's harsh beams that could potentially ruin their beautiful pallor.

"Mother," Wednesday looked up. "I wish we could help the animals. Look at the lion. Doesn't he look so much like Kitty?"

Morticia nodded, "Yes, he should be snug in front of the hearth of someone's fireplace, not caged up like some kind of wild animal."

"We should let them free," Wednesday suggested.

To her surprise, her mother agreed, "Did your uncle ever teach you how to pick a lock?"

"No, but Pugsley did," Wednesday replied.

"Quick, I'll distract the zookeeper," Morticia shooed her daughter towards the lion's cage before sidling up to the zookeeper and beginning to use all of her wiles against him.

Wednesday was soon back at her mother's side, "I've finished mother, let's go."

Morticia bade the confused zookeeper goodbye and hurried her daughter back to the school group, which were just climbing back on the bus. Behind them they heard a loud roar of delight from the lion.

* * *

Morticia sighed euphorically as she lay beside her husband, bathed in afterglow. She rested her head on his chest as he began to stroke her hair. A low roar was heard from somewhere in the distance.

"Querida, did you hear about those lions leaving the zoo today? Was it while you were there?" Gomez asked, considering the animal sound.

"Oh yes darling," Morticia looked up at him and smiled. "Wednesday let them free."

"Really?"

She nodded, "I just wish I'd thought to bring one home as a mate for Kitty Cat."

"Everybody needs a mate," Gomez agreed, planting another kiss on his wife's shoulder.

She let out a yawn, and pulled herself closer to him, "Good night darling."

"Good night Tish," he shut his eyes. "Don't forget to let the bed bugs bite."


End file.
